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January 02 2020

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The universe is indifferent. We ought not to be.

Antis and the Jaws Effect


So apparently, the anti movement is now citing the Jaws effect as a reason why Morally Bad Fanworks Make People Do Bad Things In The Real World, and I’m just… honestly staring into the camera like I’m on The Office, because yes, the Jaws effect is a salient example of how fiction - or rather, reactions to fiction - can have an impact on the real world, but it demonstrates exactly the opposite point to the one antis think it does.

Because when Jaws came out, sharks weren’t the ones reading it. No humans reacted to Jaws by saying, “oh, fucking SWEET, seeing this enormous shark murder people in a book/film means it’s totally okay for ME to murder people.” No: what happened was, people looked at Jaws and said, “wow, this completely fictional story about a shark doing murder must be STONE COLD FACTS, and therefore justifies KILLING EVERY SHARK,” to the point where actual science about sharks was ignored and their populations were decimated and it’s taken us literal decades to walk back even a fraction of the harm done by shark-fearful zealots.

The Jaws effect doesn’t support the claim that dark, squicky or otherwise problematic fanworks can turn people into predators. It’s evidence that, when reactionary people confuse fiction with reality and use their fear of the former to justify acts of persecution in the latter, there are terrible, widespread consequences that do nothing to mitigate the thing they were actually scared of in the first place, but which have a toxic cultural half-life regardless. 

It’s evidence, in other words, that the anti approach to things is a goddamn bad idea

October 24 2019








EVERYBODY stop whatever the fuck you’re doing.. and watch this masterpiece

September 20 2019


cat when I’m snuggling him: I’ve never met you in my life. you bastard. you fiend. stop this at once

cat when I’m busy doing something and can’t pet him right that second: Where Is My Kisses From Mommy??? Where Is My Snuggles And Cuddles That I Crave So Dearly. You Are A Cruel And Unjust Mother And I Am Going To Scream

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bruce: finally, someone who understands !!! isn’t sharing your mind and body with a monster the worst???? it’s ruined my life and i want to die.

eddie, who came so hard from venom slithering up into his asshole that he went blind for like twenty minutes this morning:

#this post > the entire mcu


DID YOU KNOW that proper pearl necklaces actually have knots between each pearl?

This is done to stop the pearls from rubbing up against each other, potentially causing damage and discolouration to each bead, and also so that if the string breaks it’s unlikely that any more than one or two pearls will fall off the string. Pearl necklaces (and bracelets, for that matter) need re-stringing regularly, to make sure that the string isn’t stretched, frayed, or otherwise damage, which would put the necklace at risk of breaking, and when they are re-stringed properly, new knots are always tied between each pearl.

This post brought to you by the stop making pearls scatter everywhere whenever you break a fancy lady’s necklace when murdering her, thriller writers, all you’re doing is revealing she was wearing shitty plastic beads gang



flashing tw for the percy jackson musical ad on youtube :/

theres flashing right before the skip appears and pretty much right after it appears so yeah

Non epileptics please rb this making these posts shouldn’t be my job






Fic idea I was struck with the other day and keep thinking about: a Vulcan adopts a cat.

Still thinking about this, even though I’m not writing the fic!

This Vulcan, I’m calling her T’Pen, goes to a shelter and gets a cat, and the shelter employees are like, a bit weirded out? But obviously they’re going to give her a cat, I mean, she’s a Vulcan, she’s Super Responsible, she takes all the pamphlets and listens attentively to all the advice the shelter employees give her, even though it is obvious she researched a lot on her own.

Then T’Pen asks the shelter folks what she should name the cat and runs into That Thing Humans Do Where They Confound a Vulcan With Their Weird Ways

Shelter Employee 1: oh, you can name a cat anything! That’s what’s great! People names, common nouns, whole phrases.

Shelter Employee 2: yeah, nothing sounds weird on a cat. Everything from Chad to Cupboard is fair game.

SE 1: yeah, I mean, you can’t call a dog Chad, that would be weird

SE 2: I wouldn’t fuckin’ trust anyone who named their dog Chad

SE 1: oh word


T’Pen: ….fascinating.

Later, in the interest of furthering her anthropological study of Earth, T’Pen has a houseparty and she invites her coworkers, many of whom are human, but others which are aliens, and are fascinated by T’Pen’s cat

Vulcan Co-worker: T’Pen, what have you named this small Earth feline?

T’Pen: I have named him Marmalade.

Vucan co-worker: Is that not the name of a type of Terran fruit preserve? I do not understand the logic behind this choice.

T’Pen: the logic is self-evident to a human.

Human Co-worker: T’Pen, omg, you have a cat! What’s his name?

T’Pen: thank you for your inquiry. His name is Marmalade

Human Co-worker: oooh! yeah, that makes sense, because he’s orange and sweet! lmao, great name

Vulcan Co-worker: …

Vulcan Co-worker: ….fascinating

Human: So, how’s Marmalade?

T’Pen: He has the peculiar habit of walking on my workstation.

Human: Aggravating, isn’t it?

T’Pen: We Vulcans do not feel human emotions. However, I would prefer it if Marmalade stayed off my workstation, particularly when I am working.

Human: Get a box.

T’Pen: Murdering Marmalade seems an overreaction.

Human: No, you need a box with interior dimensions approximately the same as Marmalade’s body, and set it on the floor next to your workstation. Marmalade will sit in the box.

T’Pen: Why do you believe that this will work for Marmalade?

Human: We don’t know. It’s just something cats do. If he fits, he sits.

T’Pen: … Fascinating.

Vulcan Commander: T’Pen, you are posting videos of your cat. Explain.

T’pen: My colleagues are amused and entertained by Marmalade’s interactions with his environment. I am amused and entertained by their reactions as reflected in the comments.

Vulcan Commander (reading): “U haz done me a startle”?

T’Pen: Some of them like to verbalize what they believe are Marmalade’s thought processes. He is a cat, so they imagine that he does not grasp human spelling and grammar.

Vulcan Commander: … Fascinating. As you were. (signs off)

T’Pen (returning to her meal): Now I can haz lunch.

Well, bless his heart.


Most often means he’s an idiot.  The implication is the good lord made him that way, so it can’t really be his fault, can it.

“That boy couldn’t change a lightbulb to save his life.  Bless his heart.”

Almost as frequently means sympathy.  He’s going through something shitty and the speaker empathizes with it.  Often means someone’s done him wrong.

“He’s been fighting cancer for the past 6 months, bless his heart.”

Can also be used to disguise or mitigate an insult.  The speaker thinks very poorly of him, but tries to soften the blow.

“Well, he’s just always gonna be in and out of jail.  Bless his heart.”

Infrequently can be translated as a passive-aggressive insult.  The speaker has no sympathy for him and thinks it’s his own fault.

“Of course he wants to keep the all the money and the kids in the divorce.  Bless his heart.”

It can be shortened to ‘bless’, too.  

“He’s trying to be an adult.  Bless.”

As someone born and raised in Georgia, I’ve heard this classic Southern expression used every day of my life.

Tennessee/Alabama state line born and raised and this is a thousand percent correct

September 16 2019


The Fab Five travel through time, space, and genre to help Professor Flitwick get his groove back

September 14 2019

A Little Undone - anarchycox - Kingsman (Movies) [Archive of Our Own]


Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Kingsman (Movies)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Percival/Gary “Eggsy” Unwin
Characters: Percival (Kingsman), Gary “Eggsy” Unwin
Additional Tags: new relationships, confusion about relationships, piano playing, Piano Sex, soft conversations, clueless characters, eggsy in a tux
Series: Part 3 of Anarchy’s Collected Prompts of Three

This story comes from two things - the prompt “perciwin, tie, happy” and taron’s british gq cover sitting on the piano

for @demonicsymphony

I’m dead this is perfect

Here- sort of. I’ll answer if you message me

August 25 2019

Currently doing some notations for works I have in the fire. My life SEEMS to be slowing down A LITTLE.

Herre for @anarfea

Running with the Devil

Discarded Soldiers for @consultingsmartarse

And the as of yet untitled also long overdue rest of dravni’s stuff in the Pain universe of Harry Hart/Mycroft Holmes

August 24 2019


Crowley finds a scruffy black duckling who quickly imprints on him and follows him around everywhere. 

The demon tries to be nonchalant and apathetic but Aziraphale’s seen the softness in his expression and was quite certain, if he told Crowley to take it back it’s-leaving-muddy-footprints-in-the-shop, he would be smote on the spot. Of course, he wouldn’t dream of it, he hasn’t seen the demon so overjoyed, well, maybe since Eden.

After less than a day, Crowley names him Freddie and privately swears to protects him with his life. 

He grows quickly. 

Soon, he’s perfected Crowley’s hiss and suddenly he’s pattering around the shop scaring customers. The angel loves it and hires him as assistant manager (or, alternatively, crowd control) and makes him a little tartan bowtie as a sort of uniform.

Crowley rolls his eyes and says it looks silly but Aziraphale has caught him crouching down to straighten it more than once. What’s more he swears he hears someone cooing “Aren’t you a handsome boy?” when the angel returns to the back to do inventory.

When they go out for walks, Crowley carries him in a picnic basket through the bustling London streets until they reach the park. 

Then Crowley starts to vaguely refer to Freddie in conversations with acquaintances, which further leads to the assumption that he and Aziraphale are a couple with an adopted child. 

When they’re invited to Anathema and Newt’s wedding, the invitation requests Freddie’s presence as well.

Anathema nearly faints when they walk up the path, the demon’s arms clamped around a large black duck wearing one of Aziraphale’s bow ties.


Forget your zodiac sign, tell me your parent’s and siblings zodiac signs so I can have a clear understanding of the astrological MESS you were raised in







crowley makes signs on pull doors say push and routinely runs face first into them

imagine if on a date with Aziraphale, Crowley tries to be all chivalrous and open the door for his husband, but instead just ends up having it out with the door because it won’t fucking cooperate

crowley, approaching what appears to be a push door on his first official date with aziraphale, muttering to himself: please work. please work. plea

It’s true I have evidence on film

Okay, but this is even funnier (and a bit angsty) when you consider that, in the Good Omens universe, angels and demons work by Discworld rules, where they can affect the world around them just through the power of belief.

And Crowley, especially, is really good at this. As well as the obvious scene where he imagines that his car isn’t burning to bits, and so it doesn’t, there are little things as well. His music system works without speakers because he forgot that it needed them. A military jeep grows a cassette player when he gets into it because he assumes that all vehicles come with music systems.

So logically, this should never happen to Crowley. Like, it can’t happen, because the laws of the universe state that if Crowley opens a door believing it to open one way then it will open that way, even if it opened the other way just a moment ago.

So the only reason this could possibly happen to him, is if his belief that the door opened one way was overshadowed by the far stronger belief that the universe at large is Out To Get Him in some fundamental way.

So, y'know, imagine Crowley struggling with a door for a full minute before Aziraphale steps in and opens it with ease.


We had some good success with an FB fundraiser, but seriously, I’d love some more Patreon subscribers. I’m running a special offer until the 31st and everything! 


It looks like friends are coming through and we’ll be able to get the main fix done. But if you have things that need lettering, please commission @foxy-voxy to do your stuff. She’s really good! Or sign up for her Patreon.


~$1000 in car repairs needed.

I have $200 of that.

This is my newish car. That I still have 4 years of payments to make on.

If you’ve got a few $ to spare… That’d be great. Or commission me. Please.

PayPal.me/aitchell and venmo @aitchell

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